Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,970

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Just landed via Messenger:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Live now on Slack:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Trending via Telegram:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Just shared via Twitch:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's some serious commitment to the art of posting! 🪒😄

body, body hair, case, grooming, hair, humor, just, media, post, preparation, shaved, shaving, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

0

1 month ago

adolescence, around, awkwardness, drama, enough, humor, puberty, self-deprecation, social, social drama, teenage, teenage years, time, year’s
I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

0

1 month ago

apologize, bad, bad terms, communication, end, end year, humor, relationship, request, terms, want, year
The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

0

3 months ago

best, describe, feeling, feels, humor, Monday, say, time, year
Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

0

1 month ago

always, arguing, black, black sheep, corner, culture, digital, digital culture, humor, internet, media, online, online platform, platform, satire, self-argument, sheep, social, social media, tech, tech humor, Twitter, web
A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, big, car, cars, deep, driving, driving behavior, frustration, humor, i, last, last second, parking, parking space, peeve, people, pet, pet peeve, second, small, small car, space, spot, think
If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cat, couch, humor, leave, lift, pet, pet behavior, Velcro, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Instagram this month:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

31 shares on Threads this month:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Breaking via YouTube:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Just landed via Slack:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Making waves on Threads:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨