Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Making waves on Facebook:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Spotted on Reddit:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Live now on Facebook:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Just shared via Discord:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe the real final frontier is politely knocking before you boldly go! 🖖🚀😄 #SpaceEtiquette"

adventure, always, before, boldly, boldly go, exploration, gone, humor, irony, sci-fi, someone, space, star, Star Trek, trek, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, authority, example, humor, irony, leadership, motivation, problem
Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

0

2 months ago

active, am, comparison, cultured, eating, food, humor, i, realization, self-reflection, yogurt
Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

0

2 months ago

achievement, brag, directions, humor, i, navigation, someone, success
A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

0

2 months ago

before, contribution, crypto, crypto trader, ethic, every, garbageman, humor, lifetime, lunch, op-ed, op-ed writer, single, society, trader, work, work ethic, writer
Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

0

2 months ago

after, away, back, back to work, co-workers, coworkers, family, holiday, humor, office, relatif, sarcasm, weekend, work
Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

0

2 months ago

agreement, comedy, custody, custody agreement, disguise, doubtfire, family, favorite, favorite movie, film, humor, movie, mrs., Mrs. Doubtfire, parenting, violation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

77 shares on Slack this month:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Spotted on Discord:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Going viral on Threads:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Making waves on YouTube:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Trending via Discord:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Trending via Slack:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨