Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Just landed via X:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Going viral on Slack:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Spotted on Slack:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Trending via Facebook:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Achieving Olympic-level self-restraint, one unspoken comment at a time! 🤐🏅😂

accomplishment, communication, humor, keeping, mouth, patience, restraint, self-control, shut, silence, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

0

2 months ago

dining, fancy, fancy restaurant, food, humor, know, menu, name, point, pronounce, pronunciation, restaurant, restaurant humor, want
We do it every night. Annoy each other.

0

2 months ago

activity, annoy, couple, fun, humor, night, relationship
I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

0

2 months ago

always, hard, hard work, humor, i, idiot, joke, marriage, mine, over, pride, relationship, say, wife, work, yes
If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

0

2 months ago

bit, confidence, conversation, definition, ever, humor, i, just, looking, middle, phone, reading, text, texting, too, used, word
Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

0

2 months ago

advice, change, changing, Doc, doctor, give, health, humor, i, lifestyle, me, straight, straight talk, talk, wellness
Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

0

2 months ago

back, both, change, channel, childhood, day, exaggeration, humor, nostalgia, technology, TV, uphill, walk, ways

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WeChat this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

65 shares on X this month:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Just landed via Messenger:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Live now on Slack:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Seen just now on Discord:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨