Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Just landed via Slack:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Spotted on Slack:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Just shared via Discord:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Going viral on Twitch:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Going viral on Threads:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Just landed via Slack:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When happiness holds you hostage, even alarms wave white flags! 😂⏰🏡

apology, being, being happy, caught, excuse, got, happiness, happy, home, humor, i, late, lateness, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

0

1 month ago

app, cause, different, media, multitasking, music, only, playing, social, social media, Twitter, while
“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

0

2 months ago

being, budget, complaint, cost, dollars, everything, expense, frustration, getting, heat, money, temperature, tired, weather
Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

0

4 months ago

age, aging, beanbag, beanbag chair, chair, comfort, getting, getting up, humor, i, learned, old, sit, sitting, things, too, yesterday
Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

0

2 months ago

back, break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, life, media, needs, online, online life, perspective, reality, social, social media, social media break, social media detox, virtual, virtual world, world, year
Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

0

5 months ago

blacksmith, cold, cold water, cooking, feel, frying, frying pan, hot, hot pan, humor, kitchen, me, metaphor, pan, putting, running, sink, water
Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, downfall, humor, i, irony, me, positivity, praying, self-reflection, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

21 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Making waves on TikTok:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Going viral on Messenger:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Trending via Pinterest:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Just shared via X:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨