Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Seen just now on X:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Going bananas on Reddit:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Trending via YouTube:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Spotted on Reddit:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Trending via TikTok:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

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Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.
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Commentary:
A spud-tacular romance! He's a-peeling in every way! 🥔😜👀

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on TikTok this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

82 shares on Threads this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Trending via Telegram:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Shared recently on Instagram:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Shared recently on Instagram:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Trending via Discord:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Going viral on Facebook:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Going viral on Discord:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

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