Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Stop asking me if I'm tired. Can't I just be cultivating my natural 'I woke up like this' look? 🤷‍♀️💤 Beauty sleep is so last season, darling! 😆"

appearance, asking, honesty, humor, i, just, me, self-deprecation, stop, tired, ugly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

0

2 months ago

army, automation, coming, future, humor, job, robot, take, technology, work
Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

0

2 months ago

chores, dishwasher, dog, dogs, domestic, domestic chores, empty, fold, humor, laundry, never, over, people, pets, practical, practical skills, pretty, roll, sit, skills, train, training, tricks, useful
I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

0

2 months ago

always, control, diarrhea, diarrhoea, English, humor, i, language, looks, lost, spelling, vowels, wordplay
Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

0

2 months ago

again, coworker, coworkers, day, even, every, guy, never, quit, think, year’s
For Halloween, I will be okay.

0

2 months ago

Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance
If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

0

2 months ago

advice, chores, finish, fold, funny advice, homework, household, household chores, laundry, parenting, procrastination, teen, tell, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Discord this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

75 shares on Threads this month:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

48 shares on TikTok this month:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Going viral on Telegram:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Just shared via WeChat:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Just landed via Discord:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Seen just now on Threads:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Trending via Instagram:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨