Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Trending via WeChat:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Just landed via YouTube:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Just shared via X:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Going viral on Instagram:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When laziness meets genius: procrastination becomes a superpower 😂🧠📚

article, high, humor, i, intelligence, IQ, laziness, lazy, people, procrastination, read, show, something, study, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

0

2 months ago

around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk
My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

0

2 months ago

comedy, commit, crime, crime evidence, detective, DNA, everywhere, evidence, forensic, hair, humor, i, joke, leave, me, never, self-deprecating
Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

0

2 months ago

12, every, humor, invite, meeting, microsoft, productivity, stress, Teams, technology, testosterone, workplace
Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

0

2 months ago

48, 48 hours, care, challenge, deodorant, hours, humor, hygiene, just, mean, personal, personal care
I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

0

2 months ago

call, clever, clever wordplay, Delaware, delusional, humor, i, identity, self-aware, wordplay
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

0

2 months ago

advice, bite, context, feeds, hand, hands, humor, just, qualify

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Messenger this month:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

68 shares on X this month:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

58 shares on X this month:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Trending via Telegram:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Shared recently on Messenger:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Trending via Instagram:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Just landed via TikTok:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Spotted on Discord:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Trending via Instagram:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Trending via Messenger:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨