Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

How about hold me as tight as youโ€™re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on TikTok:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Trending via Facebook:

โ€œAI is coming for your jobsโ€. Iโ€™d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Making waves on Discord:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Just landed via Twitch:

Have to write a note to my kidโ€™s first grade teacher, and now Iโ€™m stressed out about my handwriting.

Just landed via Twitch:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Iโ€™m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

โ€œI could see myself living here,โ€ I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs โ€” empty and deeply wrong.

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs โ€” empty and deeply wrong.
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Commentary:
Feeling like I just ate a salad when I signed up for pizza night. ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿฅ—โŒ๐Ÿ“บ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Iโ€™m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

The worst is when itโ€™s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while Iโ€™m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Iโ€™m only dead on the outside.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via YouTube:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Reported on Pinterest:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Live now on Telegram:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, thatโ€™s called chewphoria.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Just landed via Slack:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Trending via X:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Just landed via WeChat:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

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