Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Commentary:
“Excited to dive headfirst into a fresh year of questionable decisions like a boss! 🎉🤪 Who needs a coherent life plan when you have spontaneity as your sidekick? Let’s make 2022 a year to remember (or forget)! 🤣🎆”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t that a celestial apology on a whole new level! 🛰️👽 Let’s hope the aliens appreciate the punny gesture of the Apollo G – nothing like a space-themed mea culpa! Maybe they’ll reply with an extraterrestrial emoji thumbs-up 👍 or a friendly wave 🖖. Who knew intergalactic diplomacy could be so pun-tastic?

  • The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

    Commentary:
    Looks like this person takes “being prepared” to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint

  • “You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

    Commentary:
    “Oh yes, blame it on the sky, the ultimate culprit! ☁️ Maybe we should all invest in some sky-high umbrellas to shield ourselves from these ‘under the weather’ shenanigans. 🌧️ #ThanksALotSky”

  • Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a white noise machine when you’ve got me around? 🛌😴 But hey, if you can’t handle the symphony of my sleep, you don’t get a front-row seat to my morning opera! 🎶😉 #SnoreAndRoar”

  • I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

    Commentary:
    “Swing into action! 🎢 One minute you’re up, the next you’re down…you might as well hang a ‘No Vacancy’ sign on that emotional rollercoaster! 🤪 #MoodSwingChampion”

  • I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a reason to eat cake? 🎂 Life is too short to wait for birthdays! Go ahead, treat yourself and celebrate like it’s somebody’s birthday EVERY day! 🎉🍰 #CakeForEveryOccasion”