Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Going bananas on Threads:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Just landed via X:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Just shared via YouTube:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳

anyone, confusion, humor, irony, know, point, pondering, question, quick, sarcasm, super

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, flower, fun, fun activity, humor, internet, nature
Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

0

2 months ago

before, buy, chocolate, experience, filled, food, grocery, grocery shopping, healthy, healthy food, i, impulse, impulse buy, marshmallow, me, self-control, shopping, shopping experience, temptation
My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

0

2 months ago

cry, crying, expense, finance, humor, joke, me, money, onion, opening, sarcasm, wallet
I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

0

2 months ago

blow, fix, generation, humor, i, nostalgia, old, old school, punch, repair, school, single, technology, TV
Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

0

2 months ago

bride, guest, humor, marriage, relationship, threat, veiled, veiled threat, wedding, wedding guest, wife
All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, around, bumper, car, cars, collision, driving, hit, humor, rubber, safety, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Slack this month:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My life is based on a true story.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

49 shares on X this month:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Going bananas on Slack:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Live now on Reddit:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Trending via YouTube:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Trending via Messenger:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Spotted on Reddit:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨