Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

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No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

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My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

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I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

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Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

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You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

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It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

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Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

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That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

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The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

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Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.