Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Making waves on Telegram:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Just shared via Reddit:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Breaking via Reddit:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew sick days could be the secret to job security? 😜💼🌴

advice, care, day, day off, days, humor, job, jobs, self, self-care, take, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, humor, i, irony, kids, lifestyle, mom, no kids, parenting, stay-at-home, stay-at-home mom
Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

0

2 months ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., again, am, being, deprivation, getting, ghost, hearing, hoping, humor, just, means, night, noise, parent, parenting, sleep, sleep deprivation, toddler
Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

0

2 months ago

back, benjamin, Benjamin Franklin, franklin, history, humor, inform, invention, stove, technology, time, time travel, travel, wifi
My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

0

2 months ago

apnea, diagnosis, health, humor, irony, meeting, sleep, sleep apnea, staff, staff meeting, workplace
I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

0

2 months ago

5, entertainment, feel, happen, humor, i, interesting, irony, just, keep, life, making, ridiculous, season, shit, storytelling, writers
I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

0

2 months ago

breathing, humor, nose, observation, person, shopping, unique, Walmart

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

89 shares on Discord this month:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

98 shares on X this month:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

The world started without permission again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Seen just now on X:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Breaking via Telegram:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Breaking via Reddit:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Broadcasted on X:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Going viral on Snapchat:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨