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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Breaking via Slack:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Just shared via Reddit:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Going viral on X:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about vowing never to self-criticize again after a silly experience.

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Commentary:
"When you give yourself the 'never again' pep talk… only for future you to say 'hold my drink' 😂🙈🍻"

after, again, always, certain, experience, Funny, humor, never, reflection, self-awareness, self-talk, talk, yourself

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

44 shares on Slack this month:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

53 shares on Messenger this month:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

68 shares on Discord this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

11 shares on WeChat this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Just landed via Instagram:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Trending via Slack:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Trending via Slack:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Just shared via Threads:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Spotted on Reddit:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

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Activity Log ✨

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨