Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Just landed via Slack:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Just shared via Facebook:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Making waves on Slack:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Trending via Reddit:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Going viral on Slack:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

7 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like divine intervention is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card! 😇🃏🔍

after, amount, behavior, doing, evil, faith, God, hypocrisy, irony, morality, needs, people, something, study

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

2 months ago

cuisine, food, haggis, humor, joke, meal, Scotland, stomach, twice
Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

3 months ago

academic, bad, embarrassment, essay, ever, humiliating, humiliation, most, personal, personal relationship, professor, relationship, school, student, thing, turning, writing
If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

3 months ago

affection, girlfriend, humor, little, love, psycho, relationship, time
Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

2 months ago

hairline, humor, idea, men, receding, spider, spider web, tattoo, web
People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

2 months ago

am, day, five-year, five-year plan, forgetfulness, having, here, hoping, humor, i, just, life, life planning, people, plan, planning, plans, remember, waking, waking up
Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

2 months ago

am, bigger, getting, house, housing, humor, i, joke, landlord, me, misunderstanding, money, raising, rent, response, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic response, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Just shared via Facebook:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Making waves on Telegram:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨