Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Seen just now on X:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Trending via Discord:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Making waves on Reddit:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Just shared via Instagram:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Seen just now on X:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Trending via WeChat:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

4 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about guilt and redemption, with a humorous take on human nature.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like divine intervention is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card! 😇🃏🔍

after, amount, behavior, doing, evil, faith, God, hypocrisy, irony, morality, needs, people, something, study

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WeChat this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

45 shares on Threads this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Spotted on Messenger:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Going viral on Messenger:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Live now on Instagram:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Just shared via Twitch:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨