Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,012

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Going viral on Instagram:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Breaking via Facebook:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Trending via TikTok:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Breaking via Telegram:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Trending via Discord:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Just shared via YouTube:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Just shared via YouTube:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting older means I've unlocked the superpower of being an alarm clock, even on weekends 🤦‍♂️⏰😂

aging, alarm, best, day, day off, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, routine, same, sleep, time, wake, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

0

2 months ago

bradshaw, carrie, Carrie Bradshaw, crush, culture, dating, feel, feelings, having, humor, love, most, pop, pop culture, real, relationship
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

0

2 months ago

attraction, before, cannibalism, funny observation, glimpse, hot, humor, intimacy, kiss, kissing, love, moment, moments, observation, people, romance, seeing
It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

0

5 months ago

arm, arm rest, awkward, awkward moment, both, funny moment, got, i, mine, moment, movie, movie theatre, movie watching, personal, personal space, rest, space, theatre, thought, watching, weird
“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

0

2 months ago

communication, flirt, girl, God, good, humor, irony, skills
The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

0

2 months ago

change, city, doors, driving, humor, pothole, radio, station, transportation
“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

0

2 months ago

actions, consequences, epidemic, humor, issues, just, karma, loneliness, male, male loneliness, social, social issues

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

15 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Going viral on Instagram:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Just shared via YouTube:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Just shared via Discord:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Live now on Telegram:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Spreading quickly via X:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨