Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Trending via Instagram:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Going bananas on Slack:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Trending via Discord:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Making waves on Slack:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Trending via YouTube:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Going viral on Reddit:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Breaking via Instagram:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊‍♂️❄️😂

cold, cold water, humor, jump, late, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, patience, procrastination, timing, warmer, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

0

2 months ago

check, distraction, done, excuse, homework, i, Instagram, media, need, presentation, procrastination, school, social, social media, technology, teen, teenager, teens, why
If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

0

2 months ago

dog, humor, i, me, order, pet, photos, relationship, restraining, restraining order, sleeping
Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

0

2 months ago

deleting, distraction, focus, health, humor, irony, life, media, mental, mental health, modern, modern life, priorities, self-care, social, social media
Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

0

2 months ago

chores, folding, funny observation, home, humor, laundry, observation, packing, stay, stay home
I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

0

5 months ago

blame, even, ever, fault, having, humor, i, mean, office, problem, proof, right, sarcasm, sensuality, sex, sheer, someone, work, yours
SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

0

1 month ago

app, casino, design, every, experience, feels, game, game design, much, online, online shopping, open, Shein, shopping, shopping app, time, too, user, user experience

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

99 shares on YouTube this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Spotted on Twitch:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Just shared via Facebook:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Going viral on Slack:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Just shared via WeChat:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨