Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,842

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Shared recently on X:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Just landed via X:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Spotted on WeChat:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊‍♂️❄️😂

cold, cold water, humor, jump, late, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, patience, procrastination, timing, warmer, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other
Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

0

2 months ago

balloons, birthday, breath, happy, humor, plastic, plastic sack, quirky, sack, sarcastic, weird
It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

0

2 months ago

apocalyptic, collapse, fall, humor, irony, love, relationship, romance, romantic, society
I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, breakfast, day, driving, exercise, humor, i, miles, morning
It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

0

2 months ago

bird, heat, here, hot, humor, i, nature, summer, worm
Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

0

2 months ago

brain, brain failure, comedy, death, failure, humor, irony, lead, life, living, people, proof

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

92 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Just shared via TikTok:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Trending via Reddit:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Shared recently on Slack:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Shared recently on Threads:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Freshly posted on X:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Trending via Discord:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨