Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Just shared via Threads:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Trending via Snapchat:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Spotted on Twitch:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Trending via YouTube:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about timing and cold water, humorously highlighting the futility of jumping late.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊‍♂️❄️😂

cold, cold water, humor, jump, late, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, patience, procrastination, timing, warmer, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

24 shares on Slack this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

30 shares on X this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Just shared via TikTok:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Just shared via Messenger:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Just shared via Threads:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Just shared via X:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Trending via Pinterest:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Going viral on X:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨