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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

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14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

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3,874

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Breaking via Threads:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Just shared via Twitch:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Everest: where lying down on the job is a permanent position. 🏔️💤

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

1 month ago
adult, blunt, consequence, consequences, dildo, humor, irony, metaphor, risqué
Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

1 month ago
around, communication, confusion, emoji, expression, fashion, feel, feeling, humor, i, idea, know, outfit, wear, women
“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

1 month ago
alone, cake, counter, dessert, end, going, house, humor, me, mischief, temptation, warning, well
Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

1 month ago
activity, arts, chi, crazy, exercise, funny activity, humor, martial, martial arts, motion, slow, slow motion, tai, Tai Chi, tantrum, throwing
Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

1 month ago
allure, confidence, eyes, feel, having, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, seductive, seductive eyes, self-expression
There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

1 month ago
activity, couple, date, fast, fast food, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, intimacy, lover, McDonald’s, romantic, something

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Trending via Facebook:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Broadcasted on X:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Shared recently on Instagram:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

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Activity Log ✨

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

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The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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