Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Trending via Reddit:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Just landed via Discord:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Shared recently on Reddit:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Going viral on Snapchat:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Trending via Messenger:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text highlighting a missed product opportunity for knees and toes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Running out of catchy names for body wash? Someone needs to toe the line! 🚿😂🦶

body, body wash, brand, called, disappointment, fact, head, Head and Shoulders, humor, hygiene, idea, knees, product, product idea, shampoo, shoulders, t, wash

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

10 shares on Instagram this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

73 shares on X this month:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Live now on Slack:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Spotted on Twitch:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨