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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Itโ€™s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesnโ€™t pay any bills.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Reddit:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so Iโ€™m just going to keep doing that.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Thinking of becoming the โ€œwhereโ€™s my hugโ€ guy in prison.

Just shared via Facebook:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriendโ€™s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Going viral on Twitch:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Breaking via Threads:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Seen just now on X:

Caffeine isnโ€™t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Shared recently on WeChat:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Just landed via Threads:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

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Commentary:
When women develop radar as a superpower instead of flying! ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธโœจ๐Ÿ“ก

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Social Media Stars โญ

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Living la vida taco!

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

We like to vilify hot people, but itโ€™s important to know that people who arenโ€™t hot are also terrible.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional womenโ€™s sport.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Thereโ€™s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

I say things I donโ€™t mean on spicy chicken.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I donโ€™t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

You canโ€™t confuse me. I already donโ€™t know whatโ€™s going on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Referring to my bossโ€™s wife as my boss-in-law.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Going viral on TikTok:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

ChatGPTโ€™s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-lawsโ€™.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Spotted on Slack:

When someone dies people say โ€œheโ€™s going to meet his Makerโ€. No heโ€™s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Just shared via Discord:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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