Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Just shared via X:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Going viral on WeChat:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Just landed via Instagram:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

15 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When women develop radar as a superpower instead of flying! 🕵️‍♀️✨📡

ability, able, exactly, female, female intuition, following, girl, guess, guessing, humor, intuition, media, relationship, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

0

5 months ago

advice, caffeine, coffee, energy, good, health, hear, humor, i, know, much, needs, warning
Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

0

2 months ago

before, came, communication, heads, just, media, nonsense, people’s, people’s heads, social, social media, thoughts, Twitter
I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, forced, humor, interaction, liking, media, online, online interaction, posting, posts, problem, sarcasm, self-confidence, social, social media
Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

0

2 months ago

35, age, age 35, best, borrow, borrow womb, friend, friendship, gay, gay best friend, girl, girls, humor, love, relationship, womb
Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

0

2 months ago

appointment, before, boat, dentist, early, fretting, humor, month, next, payment, schedule
Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

0

2 months ago

career, emperor, feel, food, hate, humor, i, job, motivation, myself, perspective, positivity, remind, taster, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Threads this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

40 shares on X this month:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Just landed via Reddit:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Live now on Snapchat:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Shared recently on TikTok:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Going viral on Slack:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Breaking via Discord:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Live now on WhatsApp:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨