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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Broadcasted on Slack:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Live now on Facebook:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Just shared via TikTok:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

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Commentary:
Ouch, I just bruised my dignity! 🤦‍♀️😆

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

53 shares on X this month:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Spotted on X:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Just shared via Slack:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Live now on Snapchat:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Shared recently on Slack:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Trending via Pinterest:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

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