Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Making waves on TikTok:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Trending via TikTok:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Trending via Telegram:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Breaking via Discord:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Trending via Facebook:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Going viral on Twitch:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Going viral on WeChat:

Nobody declines a call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

1 month ago

Funny quote about how familiarity breeds comfort, even in relationships or absence.

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Commentary:
Looks like my plants and I are mutually ghosting each other 🌱👻😂

absence, comfort, comfortable, habit, loneliness, longer, people, relationship, something, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

69 shares on Discord this month:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Just shared via Twitch:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Live now on LinkedIn:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Just landed via WeChat:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨