Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,742

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Shared recently on Threads:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Spotted on Instagram:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Shared recently on Slack:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Just shared via WeChat:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Breaking via Instagram:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Trending via YouTube:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wishing I could hit snooze on life's alarm clock! 😂⏰💤

daily, daily struggle, finding, health, humor, live, longest, mental, mental health, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, struggle, will to live

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, fitness, humor, need, pick, runner, side, smoke, smoking
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

0

2 months ago

back, diet, fitness, follow, humor, irony, loss, media, social, social media, unfollow, weight, weight loss
Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

0

2 months ago

appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test
Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

0

2 months ago

challenge, daily, daily challenge, day, difficulty, every, humor, speech, speech difficulty, stutterer
What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

0

2 months ago

always, business, context, dream, dreams, getting, having, just, point, sex, sex dream, wake, wake up
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

0

2 months ago

chef, cook, cooking, culinary, drink, food, humor, kitchen, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Going viral on Facebook:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Making waves on Instagram:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Live now on Twitch:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Trending via Snapchat:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Going viral on Slack:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Trending via Instagram:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Trending via Threads:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨