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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,957

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Trending via X:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Going viral on Slack:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Spotted on WeChat:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Spotted on Slack:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wishing I could hit snooze on life's alarm clock! 😂⏰💤

daily, daily struggle, finding, health, humor, live, longest, mental, mental health, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, struggle, will to live

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

0

2 months ago

cat, dance, eight, fever, five, fun, humor, just, me, night, pet, pet refusal, quarantine, quarantine fun, refusal, refuses, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, six, solo, weekend, while, yelling
Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, being, chores, fitted, fitted sheet, folding, frustration, humor, irony, life, life skills, responsibility, sheet, skills
Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

0

5 months ago

butterfly, crush, delusion, feeling, fun, having, just, literally
I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

0

2 months ago

call, comfy, dress, fashion, floral, flortato, humor, i, me, nelly, Nelly Flortato, potato, self-deprecation, today
I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, before, finished, hate, hope, hot, hot water, humor, i, run, sarcasm, shower, water
Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

0

2 weeks ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

39 shares on Threads this month:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite color is sunshine.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

42 shares on X this month:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

14 shares on Discord this month:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Just landed via Facebook:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Spotted on YouTube:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Going viral on Threads:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Trending via WeChat:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Live now on WeChat:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨