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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

25 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Spotted on X:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Just shared via YouTube:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Breaking via TikTok:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

5 months ago

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic self-inflicted forehead slap – the mating call of the wild human male 🤦‍♂️. Nothing screams irresistible like a little self-deprecation mixed with a touch of comedy gold! Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have a head-slapping good time? 🤪 #SmoothMoves"

attractive, behavior, funny behavior, head, hitting, humor, irony, man, most, own, self-deprecation, stupid, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

25 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Going viral on Discord:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

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