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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Going viral on Pinterest:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic self-inflicted forehead slap – the mating call of the wild human male 🤦‍♂️. Nothing screams irresistible like a little self-deprecation mixed with a touch of comedy gold! Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have a head-slapping good time? 🤪 #SmoothMoves"

attractive, behavior, funny behavior, head, hitting, humor, irony, man, most, own, self-deprecation, stupid, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Slack this month:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Seen just now on Discord:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Just shared via Threads:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Just shared via Threads:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Just shared via Instagram:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Seen just now on X:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Just shared via Threads:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Spotted on YouTube:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

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