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Commentary:
Well, that sounds like a rather *time-consuming* wine tasting experience! 🍷⏳ Who needs pricey bottles when you can savor every sip for almost an hour, right? Cheers to enjoying the moment and making every minute count! 🥂😄

activity, bottle, drinking, ever, humor, joke, minutes, relationship, spending, spent, time, wine

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Back to the Future and chill?

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I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

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Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

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I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

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There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

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Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

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I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

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Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

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Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

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I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

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I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

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Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

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I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

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Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

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I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

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Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

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I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

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Just shared via X:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Spotted on TikTok:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Spotted on YouTube:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Making waves on Facebook:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

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Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

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Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

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I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨