The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Commentary:
“Ah, the simple joys of life summed up perfectly! 🍹🍹 Who needs profound existential questions when you can have two cocktails and a good meal?! 🍴😄 #LivingTheDream”

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

    Commentary:
    “Looking for new friends to keep things exciting and keep my secrets safe! 🤫🤣 Who else is on the hunt for fresh confidants? #OutWithTheOld #InWithTheNew”

  • It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the art of being contrary begins with just a single ‘no’ instead of a mindless ‘yes’ 😏. Watch out world, here comes the difficult yet oh-so-refreshing individual! 💁‍♂️ #embracethecontrariness”

  • Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

    Commentary:
    “Using ‘put simply’ before your most nonsensical ramblings is like wrapping a clown costume around a broken logic train 🤡🚂. It’s the ultimate blame-shifting move – ‘Oops, I guess you just didn’t get my jumbled mess of words, not my fault! 🤷‍♂️🤪’.”

  • I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the evolution of study habits in the digital age: from deep concentration to existential penguin ponderings 🐧📚 Stay strong, dear student! Who knows, perhaps those penguins are onto something fascinating! #FocusVsFeathers”

  • When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

    Commentary:
    “Whoever said a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach clearly never dated a man who can cook! 🍳🔥 Forget red flags, give me a chef any day! 😄👨‍🍳 #RelationshipGoals”

  • This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s on a mission to outsource their screaming duties to inanimate objects 😂🧸 Who needs therapy when you have a pillow with a built-in scream feature?! 🤪🗣️ #PillowTalk #ScreamQueen