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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Shared recently on Reddit:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Shared recently on Discord:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Going viral on Messenger:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Going viral on Instagram:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Just shared via Instagram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Going viral on Slack:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Seen just now on Discord:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"When you're outsmarted by your own snack stash… 🤦🏻‍♀️🍫🔍 #SnackNinjaFail"

being, end, family, food, forget, forgetfulness, hidden, hiding, humor, i, kid, me, parenting, parenting struggle, problem, snacks, struggle, too

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69 shares on Messenger this month:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

56 shares on X this month:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Spotted on Twitch:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Spreading quickly via X:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨