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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,843

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Just shared via Telegram:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Spotted on X:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're outsmarted by your own snack stash… 🤦🏻‍♀️🍫🔍 #SnackNinjaFail"

being, end, family, food, forget, forgetfulness, hidden, hiding, humor, i, kid, me, parenting, parenting struggle, problem, snacks, struggle, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

0

5 months ago

babe, candlelight, communication, dating, gaslight, humor, less, light, relationship, sarcasm
New year update: losing everything but weight.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, fitness, humor, losing, new, new year, resolution, update, weight, year
At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

0

2 months ago

children, everyone, humor, job, kid, leave, lie, office, want, work
Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

0

2 months ago

advice, care, communication, confusion, everyone, humor, me, misunderstanding, phrase, take, take care, why
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

0

3 weeks ago

2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude
I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

0

2 months ago

activity, cleaning, cool, dog, dog poop, fresh, i, moonwalk, poop, sh, visual

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Telegram this month:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Just landed via Slack:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Trending via Messenger:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Spotted on X:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Just landed via Facebook:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Spotted on Discord:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

New year update: losing everything but weight.

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨