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Ah, the age-old debate between the romantic and the realist! 🌹❤️💔 Seems like the realist always has a point – way to rain on everyone's love parade! 😂 But hey, one person’s wrong choice is another person’s lucky break, right? 🍀 #RelationshipRealities

choice, choose, everyone, humor, partner, person, realist, relationship, right, romantic, work, wrong

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So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

4 weeks ago
apparently, away, humor, ignore, ignoring, lesson, life, life lesson, problem, problems, truth
People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

2 months ago
act, care, humor, i, indifference, people, personality, sarcasm, say
Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

2 months ago
communication, education, first grade, grade, handwriting, kid, kids, note, parenting, stress, teacher
Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

1 month ago
early, every, friend, going, going home, group, home, leaving, leaving early, party, person, social, social group, squad
Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

1 month ago
countryside, england, everywhere, humor, just, rural, rural England, setting, Spider-Man, superhero, transportation, walk
As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

1 month ago
away, brownie, dessert, even, humor, i, mischievous, moonwalk, notice, stealing, stealth, stolen, unnoticed

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

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The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

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Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

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You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

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I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

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When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

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Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

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The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

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“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

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You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

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I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Just landed via Slack:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Live now on Messenger:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

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The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

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This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

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When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

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The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

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