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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

This sex could have been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Live now on Messenger:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Just shared via Reddit:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Just shared via Messenger:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Just landed via Discord:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Witty text about a thief facing consequences for stealing an iPhone with a play on words.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the thief found themselves in a tech-tastrophe ⏰🤦‍♂️📱

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

29 shares on X this month:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

73 shares on Discord this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Making waves on Instagram:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Live now on Facebook:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Spotted on WeChat:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Breaking via TikTok:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Spotted on X:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Making waves on Reddit:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

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