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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,864

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Going viral on Telegram:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Just shared via Instagram:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

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The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.
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Commentary:
Trying to find the vocals in a Pink Floyd track is like waiting for a kettle to boil—eventually, you'll get the tea 🍵🎸🎶

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

68 shares on X this month:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Being weird never goes out of style.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

59 shares on X this month:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cool times create cool guys.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,013

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Spotted on Facebook:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Spotted on WeChat:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Trending via YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Going viral on WeChat:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

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