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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Breaking via Slack:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Trending via Messenger:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Seen just now on Threads:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Seen just now on Slack:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I call it "meal planning"… in my head… 24/7. 🍕🤔😂

craving, eating, embarrassing, embarrassment, food, humor, i, just, kind, spend, thinking, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

0

2 months ago

childbirth, cold, comparison, experience, feel, humor, men, much, pain, suffering, women
White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

0

2 months ago

cautionary, cautionary tale, humor, lotus, taking, tale, time, time off, vacation, white, White Lotus, work
Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

0

5 months ago

call, dating, humor, love, others, relationship, romance, ruin, schedule, schedules, sleep, sleep schedule
I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

0

2 months ago

better, communication, eavesdropping, enunciate, fight, hear, humor, i, little, neighbors, relationship, strife, wish
Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

0

2 months ago

activity, actually, alone, alone time, care, eat, eating, eating out, ever, going, me, me time, most, peace, peaceful, relaxation, self, self-care, shopping, solo, solo activity, therapy, things, time, yourself
One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

0

2 months ago

age, change, cool, day, hip, humor, life, life stages, nowhere, say, self-awareness, stages, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Threads this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

15 shares on Threads this month:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

10 shares on Threads this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Making waves on X:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Breaking via WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Just landed via Messenger:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Live now on YouTube:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Just landed via Messenger:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Going viral on Instagram:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Going bananas on X:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨