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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Talents: eating!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Breaking via Slack:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Trending via WeChat:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Live now on WeChat:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Time needs a speed limit.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I can only imagine therapists trying to resist saying, "Pics or it didn't happen!" 😂🛋️📸

ask, client, clients, hard, health, humor, mental, mental health, obsession, over, people, picture, pictures, psychology, struggle, therapist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

1 month ago

body, breathing, curiosity, dead, dead body, entertainment, film, funny observation, humor, movie, observation
My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

2 months ago

hidden, humor, i, irony, self-deprecation, talent
Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

1 month ago

annoyance, distraction, enough, everyone, headphones, humor, i, need, noise, shut, shut up, silence
Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

1 month ago

course, critical, critical thinking, critique, humor, i, right, sarcasm, self-awareness, skills, thinking, wit
Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

1 month ago

counter, eating, flamingo, kitchen, kitchen counter, standing, vibe, watermelon
If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

1 month ago

able, forgetfulness, humor, joke, memory, own, party, plan, sarcasm, surprise, surprise party, worse

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Making waves on Slack:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Making waves on WeChat:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Just landed via Slack:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

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Activity Log ✨

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

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Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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