Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Trending via YouTube:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Spotted on TikTok:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Spotted on Instagram:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Just shared via YouTube:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I can only imagine therapists trying to resist saying, "Pics or it didn't happen!" 😂🛋️📸

ask, client, clients, hard, health, humor, mental, mental health, obsession, over, people, picture, pictures, psychology, struggle, therapist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

2 months ago

bizarre, dark, dark humor, die, German, German word, goals, gruesome, humor, i, life, life goals, live, live well, only, want, well, word
That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

2 months ago

ability, carpet, cat, cats, cleaning, humor, mess, pet, throw, throw up
It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

4 months ago

being, being listened, feel, feeling, girl, i, listened, little, little girl, me, talking, trigger
I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

2 months ago

collaboration, demons, fight, friendship, health, humor, i, irony, mental, mental health, self-awareness
Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

2 months ago

back, holding, humor, inner, inner strength, lot, reply, sarcasm, sarcastic, self-control, strength, wit
“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

1 month ago

brothers, buying, entertainment, entertainment industry, evolution, evolve, future, gill, humor, industry, living, matter, Netflix, none, once, start, underwater, warner, Warner Brothers

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

98 shares on Threads this month:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

87 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Just shared via Reddit:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Trending via Messenger:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Trending via Slack:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Spotted on Telegram:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Making waves on Twitch:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨