Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Trending via Facebook:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Just shared via Facebook:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Just shared via YouTube:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Trending via YouTube:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Time to upgrade from 4 wheels to 8 legs! 🕷️🚗💸"

accident, animals, buy, car, funny situation, giant, going, humor, humor about animals, new, situation, spider, unexpected, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

0

2 months ago

everyone, expectations, hours, humor, i, know, love, movie, movy, reality, relationship, romance, time
Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

0

2 months ago

bottom, humor, journey, little, motivation, progress, success
I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

0

5 months ago

computer, experience, forget, forgetfulness, humor, i, incorrect, joke, me, password, rude, rudeness, technology, user, user experience, whenever
Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

0

2 months ago

away, burn, distraction, food, forever, irony, kitchen, patience, seconds, time, toast, waiting, walk
Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

0

2 months ago

celebration, drank, friendship, humor, i, just, last, love, man, much, night, party, reach, reach out, say, wanted, wedding
At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

0

2 months ago

chaos, cleaning, clutter, house, humor, mess, organization, point, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Going viral on Slack:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Going bananas on Discord:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Going viral on Facebook:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Just landed via Facebook:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Spotted on Messenger:

Just shared via Threads:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Live now on YouTube:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Just shared via Instagram:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Trending via Twitch:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨