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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Going bananas on Threads:

Back to the Future and chill?

Making waves on Discord:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Going viral on Messenger:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

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There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…
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Commentary:
Looks like Santa's not the only one making a list and checking it twice this Christmas! 🌕🎄🍷 Time to watch out for those festive shenanigans under the magical glow of the full moon! 🌝🎅 Cheers to a merry and memorable holiday season! 🎉🥂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on X this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

63 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account is also in retrograde.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Just landed via Discord:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

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