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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Making waves on Facebook:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Freshly posted on X:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Trending via Slack:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Breaking via Instagram:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about a Titanic-themed pool raft resembling a broken door for comedic effect.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Missed marketing opportunity alert! 🚢💸 Imagine floating on a pool raft that channels your inner Rose Dawson while subtly reminding you of Jack's unfortunate fate. Talk about making a splash with sales! 😆💦 #TitanicPoolRaft #Unsinkable"

broken, broken door, concept, culture, door, funny concept, humor, i, idea, marketing, marketing idea, merchandise, movie, movie merchandise, pool, pool raft, pop, pop culture, raft, should, sold, Titanic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

17 shares on X this month:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

21 shares on Slack this month:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Trending via X:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Breaking via YouTube:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Spotted on Messenger:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Live now on Threads:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Going viral on Facebook:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

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