Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Going bananas on Instagram:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Trending via Discord:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Going viral on YouTube:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Live now on YouTube:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Breaking via YouTube:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the rare 'butterfly effect' of dating—starts as a caterpillar, ends as a social media post! 🐛➡️🦋📱 #RelationshipGoals"

beautiful, companionship, dating, emotional, emotional growth, growth, humor, invent, love, relationship, romance, should, situationship, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

0

2 months ago

brain, doing, effort, good, hard, humor, humor quote, i, job, know, mental, mental effort, self-awareness, self-deprecating, trying
Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

0

2 months ago

chronological, chronological order, follow, follower, humor, idea, Instagram, media, only, order, people, post, posts, shows, social, social media, startup
Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, clark, Clark Kent, hours, humor, jawline, just, kent, kiss, lane, lois, Lois Lane, relationship, romance, said, same, spandex, superhero
Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

0

2 months ago

communication, explain, five, help, humor, hundred, me, one hundred, simplicity, understanding
Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

0

3 months ago

actually, cleaning, countertop, countertop cleaning, daily, daily routine, face, face washing, feet, feet washing, floor, floor cleaning, forearm, forearm washing, hair, hair washing, hand, hand washing, hands, humor, hygiene, multitasking, routine, shirt, shirt washing, washing
Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

0

2 months ago

activity, fitted, fitted sheet, folding, home, home activity, household, household task, humor, Olympics, petition, sheet, task

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on TikTok this month:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

16 shares on Slack this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Trending via WeChat:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Going viral on Telegram:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Spotted on Snapchat:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Just landed via Threads:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Live now on Discord:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Spotted on Threads:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨