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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Breaking via Threads:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Going viral on Instagram:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Witty quote about missed connections, humorously comparing a forgotten call to a lost message in a bottle.
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Commentary:
Looks like we're using carrier pigeons next time! 📞🕊️📬

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Reddit this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My life coach traded me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Making waves on Threads:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Going bananas on Threads:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Freshly posted on Threads:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Making waves on Reddit:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

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