Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Breaking via TikTok:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Going bananas on Slack:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the cost of living hits you like a rent invoice even Jesus couldn’t cover 🏦💸😅

after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

0

2 months ago

childhood, everything, grow, grow up, humor, innocence, kids, memory, nostalgia, remember, stupid, stupidity
Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

0

2 months ago

advice, difficulty, follow, giving, good, humor, irony, own, people, self-help
The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

0

2 months ago

age, birth, birth year, born, digital, digital age, getting, humor, i, little, nostalgia, scrolling, technology, thing, year
You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, lighthearted, mugshots, sound, spontaneity, unhinged
Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

0

2 months ago

50s, aging, health, humor, joints, meteorologists, welcome, wisdom
So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

0

4 months ago

anyone, apocalypse, belief, climate, climate disaster, die, disaster, disasters, end, humor, just, know, mass, mass belief, psychosis, religion, religious, satire, survival, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

98 shares on X this month:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Just shared via WeChat:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Just shared via Discord:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Breaking via Threads:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Making waves on YouTube:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨