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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,997

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Spotted on Pinterest:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Just landed via Pinterest:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When the cost of living hits you like a rent invoice even Jesus couldn’t cover 🏦💸😅

after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

2 months ago
back, bed, days, exhaustion, humor, i, lazy, need, pretty, rest, sleep
I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

3 months ago
communication, demand, exaggeration, expectation, humor, i, max, minimum, motivation, need, relationship, shake
Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

2 months ago
attraction, dating, friend, friendship, humor, men, relationship, sexual, sexual attraction
Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

1 month ago
asked, everything, girl, humor, humor quote, iconic, interaction, joke, just, lighthearted, name, name spelling, playful, said, sarcasm, social, social interaction, spelling, spells, witty
It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

2 months ago
beauty, confidence, humor, person, plastic, plastic surgeon, smile, surgeon, transformation, world
Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

1 month ago
biological, biological clock, clock, dating, deadline, final, humor, men, pressure, prove, relationship, weakness, worthiness

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Shared recently on Slack:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Going viral on YouTube:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Just shared via WeChat:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Just shared via Pinterest:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

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Activity Log ✨

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

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This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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