Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Going viral on Reddit:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Live now on Discord:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Spotted on Slack:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When you're surrounded by word vomit and forgot your umbrella! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️💬💩

around, brain, brains, diarrhea, everyone, going, humor, just, mouth, nonsense, place, talking, vomiting, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

0

2 months ago

every, hour, hours, humor, messy, problem, procrastination, room, solution, still, time, waiting
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

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2 months ago

bad, brain, communication, eye, eye roll, humor, just, looking, people, reaction, roll, talk
A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

0

2 months ago

humor, learning, people, reading, something, study, text, thought, useful
Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

0

2 months ago

dorito, food, humor, joke, love, mean, relationship, snack, triangle
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

0

5 months ago

advice, again, avoidance, ever, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, procrastination, thinking, tried
Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

0

2 months ago

am, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, late, lateness, person, personality, self-deprecation, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

24 shares on X this month:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Seen just now on Facebook:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Seen just now on X:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Broadcasted on X:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Spotted on Messenger:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Spotted on X:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Trending via Snapchat:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨