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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Making waves on Slack:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Trending via Pinterest:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Live now on Reddit:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Making waves on WeChat:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

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This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.
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Commentary:
Just when you think you've reached the end of the bullshit, another chapter drops 🍂📖🔄🤦‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on X this month:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

72 shares on Slack this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Just landed via Telegram:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Making waves on Reddit:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Live now on Pinterest:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Making waves on Discord:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Trending via TikTok:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

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