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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Shared recently on Reddit:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Going bananas on X:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least when they say "you're what's for dinner," they're not lying! 🍽️😂

actually, cannibal, capture, feeding, food, getting, humor, irony, joke, me, survival, terrifying, thought, unexpected, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, future, generations, hell, humor, irony, live, never, precedenting, right, society, times, unprecedented
Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

0

2 months ago

actually, demoralization, else, experience, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, job search, life, life experience, little, most, nothing, personal, personal reflection, realize, reflection, search, self-doubt
Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

0

2 months ago

diagram, hate, humor, love, middle, opinion, preferences, venn, Venn diagram
I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

0

5 days ago

actually, charming, dark, dark humor, guillotine, humor, i, let, me, sarcasm, wit
I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

0

2 months ago

around, attitude, badass, casual, casual attitude, chewing, confidence, enough, humor, never, self-image, toothpick, toughness, walk
Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

0

2 weeks ago

call, communication, goodnight, humor, meeting, office, office humor, outlook, remote, remote work, Teams, technology, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, work, Zoom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

44 shares on X this month:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

41 shares on X this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Is this art or trash?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Going viral on YouTube:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Going viral on Reddit:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨