Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

57 shares on Discord this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.