Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Just shared via Slack:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Making waves on YouTube:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Trending via Discord:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew eternal bliss had an upgrade option! 😍🤣💍✨"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

0

2 months ago

boredom, couch, dressed, getting, getting ready, hate, i, idiot, impatience, overprepared, ready, sit, too, wait, waiting
My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

0

3 months ago

advice, getting, getting older, humor, older, people, person, preparation, prepare, start, stretching, young, young person
Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

0

2 months ago

busier, dating, humor, interest, nobody, rejection, sarcasm, woman
The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

0

2 months ago

conflict, craving, donut, humor, hunger, i, jealousy, me, nemesis, person, rivalry
Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

0

3 days ago

congratulations, getting, humor, light, red, red light, sarcasm, special, traffic
Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

0

2 months ago

arrangement, dating, dynamics, having, hobby, housing, humor, interest, joke, living, living arrangement, person, place, relationship, roommate, social, social dynamics, stay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

68 shares on WeChat this month:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Spotted on Discord:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Spotted on Slack:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Live now on YouTube:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Going viral on YouTube:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Just landed via Messenger:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨