Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Trending via Discord:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Live now on Pinterest:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Witty quote about preferring TikTok over Instagram Reels for entertainment.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, I'm just here to support indie brain damage sources before they go mainstream! 😂🧠 #TikTokForLife

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Slack this month:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

My life is based on a true story.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

61 shares on X this month:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Breaking via Messenger:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Going viral on Telegram:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Live now on WeChat:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

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