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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

8 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Shared recently on X:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Making waves on Reddit:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Just landed via Twitch:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Reported on WhatsApp:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

6 months ago

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of toasting – a delicate dance between impatience and charred disappointment. 🍞⏳ One must possess the perfect blend of vigilance and nonchalance to achieve the elusive state of golden brown perfection. 🔥🙈 After all, there's a fine line between a well-toasted slice and a fire hazard waiting to happen! 🔥🚫 Remember, while the toast might take its sweet time, life moves fast – so never miss

away, burn, distraction, food, forever, irony, kitchen, patience, seconds, time, toast, waiting, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

8 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Reported on Snapchat:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Reported on Slack:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Just landed via Twitch:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

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