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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Trending via Instagram:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Trending via Telegram:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Making waves on Reddit:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Just shared via TikTok:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Just landed via Instagram:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Witty quote about discovering true personality through Monopoly gameplay.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them… and witness the transformation from friendly neighbor to ruthless tycoon 👀💵🏠 #MonopolyRevealsAll"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

49 shares on Slack this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Trending via YouTube:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Just landed via X:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Just landed via TikTok:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Just landed via Twitch:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Spotted on Reddit:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Spotted on Reddit:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Going viral on Threads:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

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