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Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

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If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

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Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

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Listen to the birds, not the news.

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Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

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The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

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I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

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The reward for doing really good work is more work.

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When your kid asks you where the other parent is, theyโ€™re really saying that theyโ€™d like to speak with the manager.

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Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

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We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Commentary:
"Love is in the scare… I mean, air! ๐ŸงŸโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘น #MonsterMatch"

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