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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

47 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Spreading quickly via X:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Live now on Pinterest:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Trending via Instagram:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

5 months ago

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

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Commentary:
Ahoy matey! 🏴‍☠️ Avast ye, ’tis Monday again! 🦜 Let us bravely face the high seas of another workweek and combat the monsters of emails and deadlines with gallant spirits! 👩‍💼⚔️💼 May the winds of productivity be ever at your back as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the workplace! ⛵️🌊 Keep thy courage and wit sharp as a blade.

another, communication, explorers, friend, horrors, humor, i, old, old times, should, start, survival, texting, time, times, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

47 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Live now on Facebook:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Just shared via YouTube:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Trending via Reddit:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Live now on Twitch:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Just landed via Messenger:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Just landed via Slack:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Reported on X:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Trending via WeChat:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

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