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Ahoy matey! 🏴‍☠️ Avast ye, ’tis Monday again! 🦜 Let us bravely face the high seas of another workweek and combat the monsters of emails and deadlines with gallant spirits! 👩‍💼⚔️💼 May the winds of productivity be ever at your back as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the workplace! ⛵️🌊 Keep thy courage and wit sharp as a blade.

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

16 hours ago
am, clothing, difference, fashion, gender, gender difference, humor, i, men, mini, mini skirt, options, outfit, quarter, quarter zip, skirt, why, wish, zip
Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

1 month ago
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I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

2 months ago
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We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

1 month ago
appearance, attractiveness, critique, hot, hot people, humor, important, judgment, know, people, social, social critique, stereotypes, terrible
Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

2 weeks ago
frustration, movie, pain, subtitle, subtitles, syncing, watching
It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

1 month ago
assume, assumption, boss, employee, employees, humor, insane, job, motivation, office, paycheck, reason, truly, work, working

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

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I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

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My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

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Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

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I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Making waves on YouTube:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Making waves on Messenger:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

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Activity Log ✨

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

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We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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