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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,921

Funny Quotes Topics

14,738

Funny Quotes Images

11,921

2 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Spotted on TikTok:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Spotted on YouTube:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Making waves on X:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Trending via Messenger:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Making waves on Messenger:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍏👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️ Embracing your 40s is like embarking on a healthcare treasure hunt – collect all the specialists to unlock the next level of adulthood! Remember, an apple a day keeps the doctor away… but in your case, you might need a whole orchard! 😉 #40sFun #DoctorDrama

40s, advice, aging, apple, apples, doctors, health, humor, matter, need, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,921

Funny Quotes Topics

14,738

Funny Quotes Images

11,921

2 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Seen just now on Slack:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Just landed via YouTube:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Just shared via Facebook:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Making waves on X:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Making waves on Pinterest:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Trending via WeChat:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Making waves on Discord:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Making waves on WeChat:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

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