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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Trending via X:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Just landed via Slack:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Trending via WeChat:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Live now on Telegram:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Trending via TikTok:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

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Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.
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Commentary:
🍏👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️ Embracing your 40s is like embarking on a healthcare treasure hunt – collect all the specialists to unlock the next level of adulthood! Remember, an apple a day keeps the doctor away… but in your case, you might need a whole orchard! 😉 #40sFun #DoctorDrama

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Spotted on TikTok:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Trending via Instagram:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Seen just now on Threads:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Making waves on YouTube:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

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