Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Going viral on Slack:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Just landed via Slack:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Making waves on Twitch:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Just landed via YouTube:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning 50: The decade where mystery pain becomes a daily subscription service! 🎉🛍️🤕

50s, age, age humor, aging, humor, joke, life, life stage, middle, middle age, new, pain, stage, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

0

2 months ago

electronic, humor, joke, malfunction, need, smoke, technology, work
Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, humor, light, light show, lights, nature, night, phenomenon, polar, polar light, show, sky
Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

0

2 months ago

cognitive, funny thought, head, health, humor, inner, inner voice, introspection, little, mental, mental health, mind, quirky, read, self-awareness, thought, using, voice, weird
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

0

2 months ago

call, humor, insult, people, sarcasm, stupid, wit
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

0

2 months ago

back, cool, depression, ever, got, growth, health, inspiration, life, mental, mental health, motivation, personal, personal growth, recovery, sex, spark, worst
Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

0

2 months ago

call, everything, excuse, humor, i, missed, missed call, phone, procrastination, ring, ringing, ringing phone, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on X this month:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

94 shares on Discord this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

39 shares on X this month:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Trending via Instagram:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Breaking via Slack:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Live now on X:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Making waves on Twitch:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Spotted on Facebook:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨