Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,044

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Just shared via X:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Just landed via Twitch:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Trending via Reddit:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess it's time to make some billionaire jam! 🥄😜🍇

commentary, eating, got, humor, metaphor, overripe, rich, social, social commentary, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

0

2 months ago

awkward, conversation, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, relationship, say, something, things, weird, weird things
Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

0

2 months ago

happiness, head, health, humor, joy, laughter, mental, mental health, need, release, relief, sometimes, stress, stress relief, thoughts, uncontrollable
Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, humor, marriage, people, prank, relationship, sneak, surprise
Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

0

2 months ago

beliefs, daily, day, every, good, humor, over, soul, stranger, strangers, vomiting
Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, humor, identity, italian, just, means, pesto, pounding, relatable, word
Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

0

1 month ago

acting, babe, communication, delusion, humor, misunderstanding, partner, relationship, right

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Live now on Messenger:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Spotted on Instagram:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Just landed via Discord:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Going viral on Slack:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Just landed via Telegram:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨