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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Just shared via Instagram:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Trending via X:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Live now on Snapchat:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Breaking via Slack:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Live now on Threads:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Making waves on Messenger:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

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What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.
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Commentary:
"Current world status: 'Sorry, I can't brain today. Too many tabs open!' 🤯🌍 #Overloaded"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

18 shares on Slack this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Live now on Twitch:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Going viral on Discord:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Just shared via Discord:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Just shared via YouTube:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Just shared via TikTok:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

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